Dropping By...

by Richard Walter

"Where the hell are you Ork-skinned one?" Hissed the human, slow burning rage evident.

For three days the human hunted his quarry through the Jungle of Adrianne 5. That was until his prey had decided to pay a visit to a local bar. That was two days ago, and still no sign of his victim. Now all the human could do was wait... watch... whinge.

"God-damnit! Who'd have thought the bars around this place was 24 hours!" The human was getting angry. The dark evening illuminated briefly as the human lit yet another cigarette and began smoking it with haste.

A fearsome crash got the attention of the human. Quickly and with a smile, he brought the trusty sniper rifle to bear onto the doors of the bar.

"Hey... since when has an Ork worn red armour with skulls and how the hell did he get hold of such weapons?"

Suffice to say, it was not the Ork who had caused the noise. Four mighty Khorne Bererkers strode from the bush towards the bar.

"So, that'll be four Alcohol free beers then will it boys?" Chuckled the human.

As soon as the first Berzerker entered into the bar, an almighty ruckus broke out. The sound of bottles smashing, the screams of the dieing, the whine of the chain-swords, the sound of steel boot on Ork face.

"Hmmmm.... what a bunch of girls! Can't even handle their drink."

One window crash loudly as some sort of table was thrown through it, followed by an Ork. Who landed on the ground with a thud.

"Ah ha! My dear friend KG we meet again." Smiled the human as he readied a shot.

The human paused as he saw the Berzerkers leave the bar and began to walk to the fallen Ork.

"Tut tut. What have you gotten yourself into this time Ork?" The Human said, with a hint of anger. The Sniper wasn't going to waste three days hunting just to have his prey taken out at the last minute by 4 Khorne berzerkers, who clearly couldn't even handle a beer.

He watched as the four Berzerkers circled the Ork. Bringing his eye to the scope, Sniper laughed.

One Berzerker kicked the Ork in the chest before slowly rising his chainsword skywayds.

Sniper took a final puff on his cigarette, flicked it away, growled some obscenity and then caressed the trigger.

The sniper rifle coughed momentarily, the sound of the speeding bullet zipping over the grass was louder. The sound of the bullet meeting the head of the Khorne Berzerker was louder. An almighty Phwock! punctured the air.

The bullet hit the target dead on. The force sending the berzerker backwards through the air. Even in chaos armour, the head of the chaotic deviant had reduced in size. All the was left now was a mess of blood, gore and a surprised sneer.

The three other Berzkers looked around surprised. They were trained in the art of close combat, they weren't used to coming under indiscriminate fire from a pissed off chain-smoking Sniper.

One Berzerker through back his head in defiance and roared an oath to his dark god.

Boom! Light reflected off the bullet as it sped towards the Berzerker. Splat! The round struck the Chaos Marine in the eye and promptly left through the back of his head.

For a few seconds the Berzerker remained upright, still working out what exactly had happened. As the grim realisation dawned on him, he let out a half-moan as he toppled forward. The force of the shot had bent his neck by more than 90 degrees.

"Ohhh thats gota hurt!" Sniper chuckled as he stroked his rifle lovingly.

The two remaining Chaos Marine's stode around seriously confused. Less than four minutes ago, all four of them were alive, now only two remained. They couldn't comprehend the damage one skilled human could do without even entering hand to hand combat.

One Berzerker bellowed with rage and hatred. The sound was like a thousand heavy metal guitars going of together.

Sniper laughed, it had been a while since he was last in this situation.

"Bahahaha! Honey I'm home!" Sniper said with excitment. Clearly loving the situation.

The Ork on the floor had now come round and was just laying their surprised. He didn't have a clue what was going on. Looking up back through the jungle he caught a slight flash of a gun firing.

Thwock! The bullet crashed into the howling Chaos Marine like a freight train. Armour buckled and bones crushed under the pressure of the custom made 'BP (Bloody Painful) Mk2 Ammo'. The Berzerker was thrown through the air and landed to the ground, with force. A final death spasm and he too was gone. Back to his foul master hiding in the warp*.

"Ah ha ha ha! Too easy! TOO EASY!" Sniper laughed, getting a little too carried away now.

The last Berzerker finally had a bright idea. Run!

"Oh dear, oh dear... What will your master say when he learns of your travesty?" Sniper grunted as he slammed two rounds into the back of the final Berzerker.

The jungle was silent, the battlefield still.

"Imperial Forces 4 - Chaos Dogs 0"

The Ork lay on the ground with his hands on his head. Too afraid to move.

"Oh my, oh my Ork-child... What have you gotten yourself into this time?" Sniper inquired, lighting another cigarette.

"Snypa?? SNYPA IZ DAT YOU!" The Ork said excitedly.

"Yes green one, it is."

"I NEW YOUZ GONNA SAVE ME ONE DAY." The Ork laughed.

"Yes... Now what was all that about?"

"..."

"Don't push it!"

"Ok! OK! Ya see, me 'an da boyz 'ad to get sum mota oil for da Thunder 'ork gunship thingy."

"What? Where the hell did you get a Thunder Hawk from?"

"Ah... Well... Da stoopid 'ooman jus' left da keyz in it so we fink we would look after it."

"I see... How considerate of you."

"Anywayz, we took da ship and it ran outa oil."

"Wasn't there a garage nearby?"

"In da air? Nah!"

"What?"

"We ran outa mota oil wen we woz in da sky."

"Oh dear."

"Yeah... Den Bodgit tryz landin' it."

"Let me guess... he failed?"

"Yea... He banged in da Chaos Pirch."

"Church you uncultured Ork."

"Yeah, Yeah, whatever. 'Ee crashed and da Chaos woz doing somefink to the oomans."

"Like what..."

"Making 'em bleed."

"So let me get this right... You steal a Thunder Hawk, run out of fuel in mid-air and crash into a Chaos Church during a sacrifice...?"

"Yer... Datz about it."

"Excellent my good Ork..."

"Snypa? Why iz you here??"

"Oh, that Thunder Hawk you were flying. It wasn't insured. Galactica Diabolus picked up the Thunder Hawk signal and informed me. You see I was recently demoted to Imperial Traffic patrols. That was until they found out it was you on board. I was dispatched to bring you in."

"An iz ya gonna bring me in?"

"..."

"Snypa!"

"Well there's no evidence to say you was in the Thunder Hawk... The Chaos have probably converted that into one of their dark engines by now. My next mission wil be to destroy that."

"Wow!! Can me 'an da Boyz help!?"

"Only if you promise not to get into too much trouble."

"Me? Ina trubble? Neva!"

And with that the two old friends walked off into the Jungle. A loud crash followed by an Orkish howl pierced the night air.

"Do your bloody boots up KG."